>Observations on a Friday

>1. Thank God for Medicare (and supplemental insurance)! I am certain the devastation of losing my mother would have only been exacerbated had we been left with the $300k in medical bills she incurred trying to stay alive.

2.Thankfully, Obama (what a pompous ass) and Nancy Pelosi(wicked witch of the west) did NOT railroad their Gestapo healthcare reform too soon. My mother was at least able to access care vs. being deemed too old to waste resources on…(don’t even try to tell me this isn’t going to happen in the future)

3. It is good to believe in something. My father has seemed to avoid believing in anything for 78 years; Mom believed enough for both of them. Grieving my mother’s death, he is searching for answers and some proof that my Mother lives on. So can you only grow through pain and loss? I’m not sure, but it is heart-breaking and yet rather fascinating to watch. I have a friend who shared two of his favorite sayings with me (he has cancer): “Enlightenment is nothing more than the complete absence of resistance to what is” and “It’s as easy to gain enlightenment by falling off a bar stool as through meditation.”

4.I will leave letters and videos behind for my children.. After surgery in August, we lost pieces of my Mom’s lucidity, and she became more child-like with only glimpses of the funny, savvy, independent person she was before. During the last month of her life, she often was confused and scared, which haunts me still. It probably sounds stupid, but I longed for her to tell me that leaving us was going to be okay, that she had made peace with her imminent death. I wanted her to tell me how to grieve her, how to best honor her when she was gone. While she outlined her funeral plans and wrote some notes for her eulogy, I wanted a letter, a video, to hear her voice, her wisdom, and her love left for me in some tangible form.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: